Good morning world, it's been so song since i've done this, it feels good, saying that i'm not going to be posting this until i get home later because i can gaurentee that i will have blogging to do when we all get back from stratford and i can't afford to go online twice, lol. Either way, good morning world. I am slightly hung over but not enough so to be upset about it/vomiting up my insides. Justin has ben fed and i have around about three hours to do my normal every day morning clean up, make some tea, have a shower and find a weather appropriate outfit for both me and Justin, get both me and Justin dressed, Make up enough bottles to take out today, sort out the changing bag and get all the unnessasery shit out of there because it's starting to do my nut in and well, i think thats all i have to do really. And i have around three hours to do so, i imagine it won't take me that long but i won't go back to bed for an hour now just in case even though i really want to go back to bed for an hour, or even half an hour, i'm very very tired and i do not like it one bit. I'm listening to nickeback and blogging even though i clearly just said i have lots to do i am not doing any of it so in all honesty i may aswell be back in bed at the moment lol. There must be a way where i can get everything done and go back to bed for haldf hour atleast, actually i'm not even going to bother because i know my alarm will go off and i'll just hit snooze and i wont get back up until Justin does at around nine and then i'll have an hour to do everything and it will be god damn hard because Justin won't be in bed for the most of it so things like showering will be truely shamblolic. Okay i guess i'm going to do the sensible thing now and go and have a cigarette, wash up some bottles and put them in the steriliser perhaps hang some clothes up to dry and put another wash load on and then sort out the changing bag, then i'll probably shower and get dressed, i'll be smoking and drinking lots of tea while doing these things. lol. Awhhh, i like Nickelback, Sydney's going to see them in may and i am so incrediby jealous i could cry, she wont take me with her, biyatch haha. Saw Rosie yesterday i swear it feels like i've gone back in time, i'm seing Sydney and Rosie loads and i'm drinking with Kirsty, me and Mike aswell, though thats different now lol. But yeah, it actually feels like i've gone back in time and brought a baby with me.:) This by the way is a good feeling, kind of, i think. Oh yeah, not sure if i've let you know in blogness but i applied to college the other day online, i applied to do an art and design course with like a speciality thingy in fashion at south birmingham and they have a nursery which is good but even if they didn't i could have arranged other childcare i just need to see if i can actually go on the course and then i'll need to book Justins place in the nursery quick time before they're none left. Because i'm on benefits aswell it gets paid for for me, the childcare, or i get help with it, either way i'm not paying the whole amount myself which is good because i don't think i could afford a childcare placement thingy along with the bus too and from college every day. lol. Anyway its almost twenty past seven so i must depart to smoke and drink tea and do the many household chores i listed earlier even though i hardly listed any, i have more than that to do, the washing up for example.
I haven't done everything, far from it, i can't make the bottles up for example until about half nine because i need them to still be warm at half ten because i will be in the middle of town/on a bus and will therefore have no way of warming bottles up. I think however that i have found a nice weather approriate outfit though i am already finding flaws, on paper mind it sounds perfect a t shirt with a jumper jeans and flat boots with a slight wedge of corse in real life it is not a t shirt but a very pretty brown vest top with a low round neck and a pretty green jumper with pretty baggy sleves and one of those necks where its quite low and you have a bunch of fabric just below you neck which sounds vile but is actually quite nice, luckily i still have louisa's brown scarf, i'm also wearing my brown waist belt and well, i wanted to wear sensible shoes i really did but i have a bit of a female robin hood thing going on and i didn't want to ruin that so my boots are infact, suade. damnit, i also don't think i have a coat that goes, well i have my cream coat and i do actually have a brown coat but i don't know if it fits/goes i will try it on in a bit, i've sorted out the changing bag and the amount of random shit in there is stupid. (Receipts, lighters, mcdonalds stickers, leaflets, empty crisp packets...) I really am a huge tramp there's no doubt about it! Bless Justin he' still asleep at the moment but i don't know how long that will last so i guess i hould tidy up the living room, i've got a load of rubbish to take out but i just keep forgetting you'd think the three large black bags on my kitchen floor would be reminder enough but apparently not lol, obviously though i can't leave Justin in the flat on his own while i take the rubbish out so i can only do it really just as i'm going out and for some reason i always end up in a rush, usually because i'm too busy smoking or drinking tea to notice the time, am i doing that right now? whats the time? oh no no worries it's only twenty five past eight thats not too bad, i'm not meeting everyone until ten so i have about an hour and a half right? All i need to do really is get justin ready which i obviously can't do until he is awake so about nine and then make up bottles which as i said i can't do until about half nine which is actually really good spacing so thats always good. :) all else i need to do is tidy up the living room abit because the floor is covered in the contents of the changing bag that are not actually needed in a changing bag at all and also an almost empty bottle of mickey fins. So hang on, i've confused myself what do i need to do, tidy the living room, put some washing up to dry and put some more washing in and i have until Justin gets up to do that, so about half hour, oh. oh. Oh well i have time to write a little more i think, not that i actually have anything interesting to say, it's not fair because there's probably loads of amazing and wonderful things that have happened since oi last blogged regulaly and i can't remember any of them because it has been so long so you've all missed out on like a month or something of my life and well thats a bit sad epecially as i really do enjoy blogging and now i fear i have lost all my readers, OH MY GOD, i remember what i was going to say and this is one of those parts where you get a sneak peak into my head, which is never good but for some reason people seem to enjoy it. Sometimes...
Anyway so yeah basically i came to the concusion the other day or last night or maybe even a year ago i don't know but basically, i have no idea what i am doing i do not know how to function. Right i'm not trying to be a prat or anything i'm being really serious right... With the whole mom aspect of life, i do not know what i am doing, i am simply doing what i think i should probably do, obviously i know babys need feeding and changing and bathing and all the regular things like that but i mean like just in general being a mom, i don't know if what i am doing is the right thing to be doing or anything and this isn't me having another oh i'm a shit mom moment this is me being serious right so we've got that and them we've got me as a friend and again i don't really know what i'm doing i mean again i just do what i think i should be doing but i don't know if it is right or not, like when someone has a problem, do you get involved or stay out of it and random things like that. And also, i'm sure you don't need me to explain again because it is the same situation so i'm not going to give an example but me as a girlfriend also, i do not know what i am doing, i do not KNOW how to function in every day situations and such, i mean i'm not completely ermmm, i can't think of the word so fill in the gaps lol, yeah i'm not completely ____ and i can still cope in these situations and i do things, but i never know if i'm doing what i am supposed to be doing or if i am failing miserably and well i was just wondering if anyone else knew what they were doing in random every day life? Is it just me that has no clue, or is everyone else the same? God knows but i just had such a major S&TC moment lol. :) I am sat on my laptop smoking and well that is good enough to be a S&TC moment because i said so. (I genuinely want your input on this)
I have just received the worlds funniest text message again of Ami because she is my clown lol, anyway... it says...
"Reality bites. I considered waking Cathryn up by shouting what are you doing this is no time for sleeping this is an air rave while raving but last time i did that to someone whom i think was you they thought i said air raid and that my raving was panic and so proceeded under the bed, not out of it. x"
Awh two beds and a coffee machine just came on and well that is quite sad because it is a sad song and i am not in a sad mood but i bet i will be at the end of this song, and oh. my. god. my leg has gone dead, no not dead but like kind of pins and needly but not, kind of like numb, i feel no pins and needles but it is similar in the sense that i cannot move my leg, oh and also, IT IS AGONIZING! Well, that was odd, but i think i'm back. :) Oh dear, i expected Ami to tell Zoie what time we were meeting and such and by the looks of things Ami expected me too, damnit. Well Zoie isn't texting back at the moment which is never a good sign lol.Ive got such horrible dry skin on my hands i always get it, i think it is from washing up i really do because i had it when i was in the hostel, though i did as little washing up as possible i still did it and obviously since have justin i've washed atleast some bottles every day, so yeah, i blame washing up liquid maybe i should try that special care for your hands fairy stuff, perhaps if i wasn't such a major pov then i would, for now i will make do with Aldi brand citrus washing up liquid that atleast looks like it will be better than asda brand washing up liquid which by the way would not clean an already clean thing. Oh god, now to the moon and back is on, what is with savage garden today, saying that these are the only two songs i have by them, actually i have truly madly deeply aswell (and i have so beautiful but thats just the wonderful darren hayes all alone)I should probably go and have a cigarette and make some tea and tidy up my living room and put some washing up to dry and put a new wash load in, i have been saying this since half six but i do not think it will ever happen, i have about fifteen mins to do so, this is going to be such a major fail it is not even funny, none the less i will try, and oh god will i try! ttfn. :)
Hello, turns out i didn't post more yesterday i didn't get in until a fair bit later than expected because the internet told us the bus was every half hour and turns out it was actually every hour lol. (from stratford to birmingham) But we had a wonderful time and took loads of pictures none on my phone though because my camera is rubbish so i'm waiting for Zoie and Ami to put them onto a disk for me and then i will upload them and also print them for a photo album i brought some post cards too for the cover of my little album we've decided we need to have more days out like yesterday like we want to go to the black country museum and to london and just well, random places really lol. Awh i think the baba's did really enjoy yesterday bless them. We drank tea in a cute little tea shop and had photo's outside shakespears birth place and such with the baba's :D It really was lovely and Chloe and Justin were being cute and hugging but then Justin nutted Chloe which wasn't very nice. They were so adorable though, awh it was a lovely day. Justin dribbled my phone to death though, i wish i were joking, ou know when you drop your phone down the loo or something else of the sort and you have to take it apart and leave it on a radiator or something to dry out, i had to do that and it didn't come back on for absoloutely hours lol. Very upsetting so i went to my dads to borrow an old one of his but it was okay in the end because it started working again. I would have blogged last night but i spent most of the night after i got in on the phone to Mike lol. I have like a million different plans today and i bet i dn't end up doing any of them, i'm supposed to be getting a tattooand i'm supposed to be going to the pub and to meet Kirstys long lost cousin and to the cinema with nicole and i'm supposed to be seeing Mike, lol i don't have any money though, not even a penny so i imagine i am doing, nothing, i will most likely see Mike though lol. :) I was just on the phone to James about the divorce and Justin and such but the god damned signal went and for some reason he wont call back, i'm not leaving until he does, saying that i'm supposed to be getting a taxi that is apparently being paid for by James. Awh Justin isn't very happy at the moment lol. Bless him i think he's getting tired poor baba i'll put him in his cot for a bit until i know whats going on, he's due a bottle in an hour bless him. Lol. Right thats pretty much all i have time for now because i've got to go get baba ready ly all. x