Friday, 27 February 2009

We must accept finite disappointment, but we must never lose infinite hope.

We must accept finite disappointment, but we must never lose infinite hope. - Martin Luther King.

Mike ended up coming over last night and we had a bit of a chat i won't put anymore about it on here because it is private but yea. So until he came over i spent abit more time lying on the floor listening to cannonball (which by the way is still on) until i was un-depressed enough to go online and then i spent the night looking at other blogs (until Mike came over) Some of the things out there are brilliant I'm going to put a couple in my links i think, oh yes and also i found a rather amusing website while on my searches called its like, postcards with really weird things on them, but they're like cards, but like, yeah. lol. I think the only way i can explain is to show you so here goes... Keep in mind this is a mothers day card...

And for the lolz i shall show you the card i sent to Louisa...

Lol at this website, i've bookmarked it and everything. I did like, no tidying yesterday day at all because i was too suicidal so i did it this morning, you know when like, you lie down and all of a sudden you're spinning round but you're still, and then the room is spinning, and then you and the room are spinning but in different directions and then you're going in the same direction and so on, that was my night last night, and then i just got numb. Wow, everyone that reads this is going to gasp with shock and discust and be ashamed at and angry with me once i've finished this sentance, i may even lose half my readers but, a blog is a blog and a blog is a diary and you read it to know about my life so here goes, i need to go and take the morning after pill today, i'm sure you don't need me to go into the ins and outs of why. I'm actually shocked with myself, so much so i've had to smoke two vogues (for anyone new to life they're really thin cigarettes with a long white nub that burn really slow and are beautiful and i vowed never ever to even open my packet) oh yea, and they're expensive. I've done the washing up and the vaccuming this morning and even had a shower but i'm not dressed yet well, i'm half dressed lol. I need another cigarette, just so you all know i'm smoking my vogues because i've ran out of normal fags not just to be cool haha that would be dumb, Mike hid them from me at one point last night because he knew i'd be upset if i smoked them but i'm okay, i'll buy some more once i'm not so poor anymore, very poor being how poor i am by the way and i've totally not been doing the whole writing down how much i spend thing so yeah, i'll start that next tuesday. God i procrastinate so much, i was supposed to phone the doctors about 4 days ago (on Mikes orders because i have slight stomach pain) lol. I can't bring myself to have a cigarette just yet because i've not long brushed my teeth but i'm just so desperate for one it's untrue. I can't believe it isn't even 9am yet it feels like it should be about 12pm by now, time is broken damnit lol. You know, it has been a while since i have found my blog amusing which is a shame because i am one of those people who always laughs, well not always but i laugh atleast once a day (usually) and i'd like my blog to reflect that, ofcorse at almost 9am i can't think of a single amusing thing at all and obviously it would all depend on your sense of humour mine today seems to be a morbid one. Such as making a gun sign with my hand and shooting myself in the head and then laughing because it is my "hand gun" (if you get it you're a ledgend, if not, well...) Anyway i think i'm done for this morning i'm going to have another cigarette and try to find something to do until Ami gets here ecause she is babysitting for me i think she's due here at half ten so in about an hour n half, i'm not sure what time i have to leave to get to my appointment on time if i'm honest, it isn't far away i don't think but it' the middle of fucking nowhere, i'm thinking i should probably get my taxi for half ten, depends what time Ami gets here though, obviously.

So take this wine and drink with me, let's delay our misery, save tonight and fight the break of dawn, come tomorrow, tomorrow i'll be gone.

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