MONDAY 4TH MAY 2009.

09:28am.

I am so glad i blog otherwise i would not know the date, this is my favourite day of the year i'll explain why in a second...

Okay so today is my favourite day of the year because today is the day i get to text everyone in my phone book and say... "May the fourth be with you" Yes, i did just do that, Yes i am that sad.

Anyway on with the blogging, today i am dying a horrible death and i genuinely beleive that. I have a cold and its horrid its one of those colds where you nose is so blocked you could cry and your throat feels about as wide as one of those little red straws you get with kids pop and your head feels like its ten times bigger and filled with cotton wool. I dislike it i dislike it alot. I've only just got out of bed if i'm honest with you, well i got out of bed to feed Justin at half six but then i went straight back to bed and refused to get up until Justin did, which was just, ish. I've made tea and thats always good.

I don't think baby group was on this morning well is on this morning because of it being a bank holiday so i'm not missing out on anything i have to walk up to Ami's in a bit because i have like three of her books or something and because i am lending her one of mine in return i think she should lend me another one but i don't know what yet so i will have to look when i get there, i also have a dvd of hers (the notebook) lol.

Last night i tried to watch this film i'd never heard of before but borrowed of Kirsty called my life without me and it was really beautiful and nice and then end had me in tears, not because it was sad but because the dvd was fucked and it wouldn't let me watch the last chapter. :'( No matter what i did it just would not work, i hate it it's like you've wasted time if you can't watch the end of a film.

What i plan to try and do with my blog for now onwards is to have a photograph to go with each blog, atleast one and something relevent i'm not sure what todays photo is going to be but in all honesty i have until sunday to decide. I'm also trying to break it up a little more for easier readability because someone asked me to in a review recently and i figure it kind of makes sense to have a blog that is easy to read.

Justin is lying on his tummy yet again and i can never work out if he is trying to fly or trying to crawl, either way he isn't getting anywhere. Awh it seems that my poorly baby has my cold, or something similar he has a poorly nose and is currently blowing the worlds biggest snot bubbles... Have you ever tried to clean the nose of an eight month (almost) old baby? Seriously, it's impossible, he hates it, he wriggles and squirms and occasionally cries. Poor thing, surely he'd want me to clean his nose but hey, maybe not.

Awh, he's just discovered he can see himself in the tv unit thing and now he's all excited and staring at himself lol. This is actually the most adorable thing i've ever seen lol he's going mad haha. Oooh i just remembered i have a cup of tea. Noone has text back to my merry May the 4th text it's early days yet though everyones probably asleep, I need to leave to get to Ami's in like fifteen mins, neither me nor Justin are dressed, i still have tea. Right so i'm going to drink my tea probably have a fag find something more suitable to wear than a large red santa suit (you think i'm joking, i'm not.) and then get my little baba dressed, apparently it's cold so it's jackets and jeans today or possibly a tracksuit, for my little man, not me. lol.

You know i don't think i even own a decent tracksuit, i want one though but like, not just a tracksuit like, i want the kind that looks like jammies because my plan is to wear it around the house but then if i need to run the shop i will actually be dressed... :) Clever eh? Anyways i'm off for now love you all. xx

17:25pm.
I managed to get to Ami's at 10:44 not bad, only 14 mins late, i'm pretty damn proud. Now i'm watching Life or something like it with the beautiful Angelina Jolie and having a row with Mike but right now, i don't care. Sydneys coming over later to die my hair well my fringe and then i think we're doing my roots tomorrow...

Its at the bit of life or something like it where she sings, i think, i'm getting ever so excited. Justin is fast asleep because he was awake the majority of the time at Ami's though he did sleep for about half an hour on her sofa bless him. I was going to borrow a post secret book of Ami but we ended up reading it together before i left so i borrowed two dvd's instead (life or something like it and imagine me and you) Ohhhh Angelina Jolie is singing satisfaction... :)

You know i've been home for about an hour now and i still haven't made myself a cup of tea, i think i'm going to have to go do that in a moment. lol. Life's merry because once this film has finished Justin will be ready for me to get him ready for bed and then after i've done that i'm going to watch imagine me and you and i have nacho's and dip so that should make life exciting and then i think i may have to go to bed early as it may be i simply do not care because i am tired and i can think of nothing better to do at this stage in my life. Then again, i should probably shower.

I do not think i have taken my daily photograph yet today but i do have an adorable photo of Justin and a slightly less adorable, well, totally horrendous photo of me this morning in my santa suit... I do not think anyone deserves to see that. Goodbye for now. x

20:47pm.
So, Sydney didn't come over for reasons unknown but neither did Mike because i'm pretty damn sure he isn't speaking to me and bad as that is i really couldn't give a damn right now, it's his problem, but whatever anyway i have less trivial matters on my mind like the fact that i am damn sick of this boring existance leading nowhere. Don't get me wrong mind, i'm in a wonderful mood.

I just watched imagine me and you and that always cheers me up no end so i'm happy as larry not that i know a larry so i can't really tell you if he is happy or not,. i would have liked to go to bed around about now but for starters i forgot to make bottles so now i'm waiting for the steriliser to finish also Justin seems to think it is fun to wake up every half hour and cry and also Greg is texting me with girl troubles, no doubt if Mike were here that would be some kind of a problem and would be me managing to get life wrong again.

Justins awake again, i really do have no clue what so ever why he wont just go to sleep he's been washed and fed and his nappys ben changed about three times since he went to sleep, that was only 2 and a half hours ago. Pfft, my boiler has broken about twelve times this evening alone hopefully they'l do something about it at the health and safety check on wednesday. I have the doctors tomorrow morning, well Anita is coming over... 10am! how ridiculous they can't expect anyone to be sane when being forced to be up showered dressed and able to hold an intelligent conversation at 10am. Then there's a youth council meeting at 7pm which not only have i not booked a taxi for i also haven't got a babysitter for because my head is just far too cluttered to think straight at the moment.

Justin is screaming like a loon so i am going to have to go for a moment but if he settles down easy then i'll be back, and before i've even finished typing that sentance he had stopped crying. No doubt he will start again in a moment though, atleast i imagine he will because thats what he tends to do. Saying that though he hasn't yet. Still hasn't, fair enough then. I would really like to make a cup of tea but i boiled the kettle a few mins ago so that it can cool down enough for me to make bottles so i can't really re boil it... lol because then it will be too hot when the time comes to make bottles and i really cannot be bothered with waiting around that long because i would paticulaly like to go to bed soon.

You know i'm finding it really hard to do these paragraph break things because when i type i just type and type and i could go on for hours without using any type of punctuation especially not paragraph breaks, oh damn it... Just when i thought he was asleep Justtin is screaming for england again i'll be right back dear chums...

He cries and screams and i mean full on screams yet the second i walk in he's all merry and laughing, how ridiculous is that? Strange strange child. He's still fucking going for it. You know when even though you're in a genuinely happy mood you just want to scream and yell at someone for something but there is noone to scream and yell at and nothing to scream and yell at them for? I just really want to scream and yell at someone for something.

I feel like shit.
But i am happy...
How ridiculous/shit is that?
Justin is sleeping now, i'm going to make bottles, Greg is still texting me, Mike isn't. I don't care anymore.

TUESDAY 5TH MAY 2009.
10:17am.
I have tea and biscuits :) I'm supposed to have a head doctors appointment seventeen minutes ago but she hasn't turned up/is late... Takes the piss really...

Me and Mike had a row last night, well it was more me being horrendous if i'm honest but i just wasn't in the mood to talk to him, like at all but he kept on texting me back so i was like FUCK OFFFFFF. Then i spent about an hour on the phone to Louisa talking about life and going through mine and Mikes conversations and she kept going "i'm going to text him in a moment" and i was like "no no no no no" and then she told me she'd brb because she was texting Nath but she LIEEEDDD and she text Mike, but it was okay lol. Lol it was horrendous but then he text me saying... "It means stop being a silly sod and saying stuff you don't mean because if you do finish with me i'll just say no you spaz now tell me you love me and blow me a kiss i don't want to split up with you i love you A LOT xxx" Hehehehehe happiness. But i am really sorry because i was terrible last night i really was, i shall make it up to him somehow though i'm not entirely sure how just yet. Probably in the form of jaffa cakes.

I think i'm meeting Louisa in chelmsley wood some time soon but i don't know when because she hasn't text me yet and she said she would text me when she got up but i have to be back around half two so i can feed Justin and then Mike's coming over after his singing lesson and then at seven there's the youth council meeting but i don't know if i have a babysitter yet or not and the car seat is at my dads, damn, fail. lol.

Louisa wants to get a quote for some tattoo she wants and i want to get quotes for like, all of mine but i don't have pictures of them all i think i have drawings of some of them but they're surrounded by totally different and random things so i think what i'm going to do is re draw them out in a moment if i can, i'm not a talented artist like Ami lol.

Damn it where is this god damn person who was supposed to be here 26 mins ago. Justin didn't get up until 7am this morning so i guess he wont want his half ten bottle until eleven which means i can't shower until just after then and then he will be asleep so i'm really unsure how i am going to get into chelmsley and back in the time frame i am going to have. Damn this woman, where is she? I mean seriously. Damn.

Screw her then, if she dosn't want to come sort my head out well then, damn what does that say about me? lol, i don't even have the number to ring and see if she perhaps got hit by a car on the way to work this morning or is simply running late.

I am going to go and smoke a cigarette and draw out my tattoos and work out how much money i have that is spendable this week (very little i can assure you) Perhaps enough for a starbucks? I haven't had a starbucks since we all went to stratford weeks ago... :( Ttfn x

12:26pm.
Anita did come round in the end, it was nice actually, it's good to have someone to talk to i guess. because like i can get all the things out of my head and i know she won't judge me, well she will, it's her job to kind of but i mean like, she isn't my friend so i'm not risking anything by talking to her, if that makes sense? Well it does to me.

I've been thinking about tattoo's alot recently, i want so many but i'm worried once i've got them all that i am just going to look like a giant colouring book so i've decided to get all my small ones first which works out anyway because i can probably only afford to get my small ones for a while anyway. I'm not meting Lou in chelmsley anymore because she is still in bed with a headache. I should probably get in the shower about now while Justin is asleep i'm seeing Mike in a few hours.

I wanted to pop into chelmsley to be honest because i need to get a bit of odds and ends and i need to get some decent hair removal cream (so it's all about boots) because i was going to wax my legs for Louisa's birthday outing but i have a feeling the hair on my leg will not be long enough because i had to shave them for Dani's birthday party friday and you need like two or three weeks of hair growth really don't you lol. Anyway i'm going to hop in the shower and probably shave my legs absent mindedly while i am in there lol.

You know i still haven't got a babysitter for Saturday night but i have come up with a really good idea, well i think it's a good idea anyway lol. I'm going to ask my brother to do it and obviously i will pay him... I'll phone the house a little later in the day and see, i need to phone anyway because i still have the key to my dads and also my car seat is still there... lol. I'm really tired. :( I need to go and shower and get dressed because i need to go up to green lane either before Mike gets here or drag Mike with me when he gets here but i have a feeling he wont want to come with me because well i always go to the shops after he's got here on a tuesday and he never comes with me and he is always asleep when i get back... lol.

Apparently he is going to wait for me while i am at the youth council meeting so i might ask him if he wants to watch Justin but i don't really mind if he dosn't because i'm happy to take him with me lol. Oh that reminds me i need to text robyn and see if i can get her to bring her memory card so i can borrow it so i can get the pictures from big wok because her memory card reader isn't working, i would lend her one but i don't have one for big memory cards, my dad does though and i might be able to borrow my dads but i can't lend it out to other people because well, that just isn't right is it, lending out other peoples things... lol.

Right, now for some reason i am listening to Hilary duff and that is never good, actually it is funny because it is the song me and Ami once had an amazing dance routine to that we taught my sister and her friends for a school talent show back in the days haha. When we were learning the dance, well i say learning but we made it up so i guess when we were making the dance up there's a bit n it where you kind of lean back a little and then a little more and then a little more and i fell over! it was SO funny that we still lol about it and this was when we were like 13 or something... lmao.

Me and Ami don't have much luck with dancing do we? I mean last time we attempted to do the dirty dancing dance she broke her foot and i remember us doing it years ago at my dads when we were learning it and we tried a lift but we got the positioning and timing wrong totally and she wound up throwing me into one of those things you dry clothes on, it had a shit load of wet clothes on, it was truly upsetting but god damn hilarious.

I'm in such a nostalgic mood now even though the Hilary duff song has finished and i am now listening to twelve stones.

Shower times ttfn. xx

13:50pm.
I am now attempting to phone Louisa because i would really like scrambled egg on toast but i do not now how to make scrambled egg but Louisa is being ignorant and not answering her phone lol.

I have showered and dressed and tidyied a little bit but now i do not have time to go to green lane and get back and feed Justin and such, well i do but it would take me 5-10 mins to leave 5 to get there and 5 to get back so thats twenty mins so i'd only have 20 mins there, maximum, actually. that kind of sounds like ample time to pop to the shops, but everyone knows me it would fail miserably and anyway i am hungry and would like to make food first so it simply isn't going to work

I have to pop to my dads at some point before youth council so i can borrow his camera and get my car seat back and i'm pretty sure there was something else i needed to do too but i can't remember, oh yeah, ask my baba bruvda to babysit lol. So not my baba bruvda at all because he is younger than Justin lol but my little brother lol.

Justin is wearing the cutest little top and jumper, Pauline (Ami's mom) brought him, it's adorable he is also trying to crawl again, i'll take a photo, no i wont he's on hs back again now, but either way i shall take a photo of his purdy jumper... I'm going to phone everyone i know until someone tells me how to make scrambled egg. lol. x

15:00pm
I had lovely scrambled egg on toast it was very nice. :) Justin is in bed not sleeping but not screaming so that is good enough and i have somehow arranged with Louisa to wear some form of animal ears to the youth council meeting... lol.

Not long got a message of James saying that he can't do this friday (i was supposed to be picking up my stuff) and that we can arrange another date the next time i see him so i said that i need my stuff and that it has been almost seven months now and that i want it by the end of the week or i will be turning up at his with the police and that he is not being fair because in the past at the flat i never made it hard for him to come and pick up his stuff, i've had no reply.

Very annoyed, Mikes coming over soon. Thank fuck. Ttfn. x

THURSDAY 7TH MAY 2009.
10:08am.
I didn't blog at all yesterday did i? I do appolagise but i have what i consider to be a star reason which i will tell you shortly. Anyway, the youth council meeting on tuesday was good but i'm being told now that i can't take Justin with me to meetings due to insurance problems and stuff so they're going to help me get childcare for the meetings. Anyway yeah, it was god, Robyn stormed out in a huge huff and got in a little scrap with Lauren lol and Justin loved everyone haha. It was really lovely seeing everyone again to be honest like Georgie and Nicole... :) Anyway on with the blog...

I have a cup of tea and i've just finished a wonderful bacon sarnie, i am happy. Lol, so the reason behind my lack of blogging yesterday, i simply was not and i mean really was not in the mood for blogging because me and Mike somehow ended up having some kind of where are we going conversation and it was horrible, atleast when we were at mine it was, it kind of started as a normal conversation but it was like, Mike was just getting digs in at my life and i know he wasn't trying to be nasty and upset me but he did lol either way things are okay now i think, atleast i hope, god knows but even if they're not i'm sure they will be.

I brought Louisa's birthday pressie yesterday, it is nothing special in the slightest but it is a pair of pink knee high socks and two pink shot glass necklaces, i think it sums up our friendship well. I also got her a card which is signed and sealed in a purdy envelope lol.

Robyn apparently lost the baby last night but if i am honest and i'm not trying to be nasty but, i don't think she was pregnant in the first place and if she reads this, well she's welcome to, if i'm wrong correct me. But she told me she had just had an abortion sometime after i moved into here (i moved in on the 9th Feb) and apparently she got pregnant on valentines day (14th Feb) The tests at the clinic came back inconclusive and negative. She told me friday that she had worked out her dates and would be due on the 21st of November (or the 20 something of november anyway) Which means she would be 11 weeks gone but she told me tuesday that she was only 8 weeks gone... I don't know, i might be over reacting but it just seems suspicious to me.

Even if me not beleiving her causes us to break friends i pray to god she isn't lying because anyone who could lie about a that, well they're sick and discusting and i imagine everyone who's experienced it agree's. That did originally say the deserve to be shot but i thought i would change it on the off chance a mad man runs through solihul hospital with a gun and i get blamed...

Anyway i think it is time for me to go and have a cigarette and make up some bottles and sort the washing out and feed Justin and shower and dress and then probably knowing me do a little jig of some sort. Me and Kirsty are supposed to be going to connexions today but idk if she's going to be up and ready before i have to go to baby group, it's already half ten, i have to be there at half one... lol. Kirsty probably won't wake up till then but i'll text her in a second. ttfn. x

11:15am.
I am yet to make up bottles but i have washed and sterilised them i have also fed and changed Justin and put him to bed and done the washing up but i am yet to put some clothes in to wash or hung the washed ones up to dry or put the dry ones in my room lol but i felt i had to come and blog because Tal has informed me that she had a truly upsetting dream in which we were 15 and having sex and she fears it may be a flashback of some repressed memory instead of a dream, oh haha. Imagine? lmao. Kirsty is still not awake/answering her phone. lol. Pfft, i need to get showered and dressed but it involves far too much movement than i can manage right now lol. I'm so ill/bored lol. I'm going to sort out my clothes and make some tea and then posibly shower and dress lol. I brought some hair removal cream yesterday specially for sensitive skin so it better work and it better not bring me out in a terrible rash as per usual because if it does i will cry and have to wear jeans on Lou's birthday outing and well i simply refuse haha, i finished watership down by the way. It is beautiful and there are two quotes in it that i love equally, one for sillyness and one for beauty and i'm not sure which i prefer, we have...

"How comforting to be a slug among the dandelions so snug"

or

"There is nothing that cuts you down to size like coming to a strange and marvelous place where noone even stops to notice you stare about you"

Anyway i must depart because Justin is being shouty lol. ttfn. :)

12:36pm.
I have done all i need to do and have also decided not to go to baby group today because its always shit on thursdays because there's never anyone there but Kirsty has canceled on me and Ami can't come out and she's supposed to be coming to mine tonight but can't get here until like half ten half eleven ish now and i'll probably be in bed and Mikes coming over after work anyway and i wanted to talk to her before he got here and so like eurgh, life. I don't wanna sit in the house all day doing nothing so i'll probably end up going for a six mile walk or something ridiculous now lol.

Oh my god, i've just had a shocking flashback, Me and my mom had had a row and i'd stormed out/been kicked out/whatever it was lol and me and Ami and Kurtis were sitting outside connexions counting how long it was until my sixteenth birthday (i think it was around halloween time 2006) lol. And Ami lent me some money and then we went to chelmsley wood market and Ami asked for some of her money back so she could get the bus home and we were laughing at the fact that she was asking for change from a homeless person and well, it was just funny. Is it possible for nostalgicism to be a personality trait? Lol because i think it sums up the majority of my thoughts very very well.

Justin is yet again trying to crawl/fly bless him he can get himself up higher now but he still can't crawl poor thing, saying that he looks pretty happy anyway awh and he looks so cute in his little jammies lol. I'm going to have to take a photo (i borrowed my dads camera) So i'm going to have some decent quality photo's for this weeks blog, i hope. Lol, i'm going to get my dads camera. :)

Life has been sorted out, i'm going to my nans lol. And Ami is coming over tomorrow morning. I came on here to say something specific and i can't remember for the life of me what it was lol. Oh well, nevermind. I have found a new babysitter lol, you know when there's nothing on in a dvd player and the word dvd starts floating around the screen, Justin is mesmerised lol. Anyway i'm going for a cigarette and then i'm going to go and get Justin ready to go out and get his food ready and such lol. ttfn x

20:16pm.
I went to my nans and my auntie was there and that was nice and i had a lovely day and i phoned south birmingham college because they still hadn't gotten back to me and i have an interview on the 16th at 11am and then i walked down to my dads and borrowed some more cd's and now Kirsty is about to dye my hair and then Mike is coming over, lovely. Ly all xx

FRIDAY 8TH MAY 2009
07:56am

Wooh, Lou's birthday outing tomorrow, i am well and truly excited. Kirsty died my hair last night so now i am all blonde and truly upset at the fact that i do not have a mirror so i don't know what it looks like! :(

I'm listening to the beautiful south and being merry and afterwards my plan is to put no doubt on lol. Mike said he wanted to be woken up at half eight but i imagine when i go to get him up he will not get up... lol bless him.

Ami is supposed to be coming over this morning but she didn't text me back last night so i guess i've just got to wait and see if and when she turns up/gets in touch lol. Justin's still awake, naughty boy haha. I've got cooking today at half two. :) Fun times lol.

Lmao last night was hilarious we were trying to wash the dye out of my hair but my shower dosn't come off the wall, well it does but only a little bit and we couldn't fill a jug up with water because my boiler kept breaking so it was freezing cold sop we were desperately trying to wash my hair out and failing miserably so i came up with the idea of actually getting into the shower and washing it out that way but i couldn't be bothered to actually have a shower so i took my top off and hopped in in my shorts and bra and got totally drenched, i was genuinely convinced that my shorts wouldn't get wet... It was a major fail on my part. Well actually i guess it was a wail because i did eventually get the dye out of my hair! lol.

I don't like it when i have no books to read lol, i may have to give my dad watership down back today and borrow another book lol. I need to take them the camera back anyway so i may aswell. I'm going to have to take the camera back and put the pictures i've taken onto my dads computer and then put them onto my usb stick... lol.

Last night when Kirsty was dying my hair i got bleach on my hand and it burnt but when i washed it off i had a white stripe of skin on my hand which gave me a brilliant idea, i decided to draw a heart on my leg in bleach, it hurt, it wasn't clever, but it did look pretty lol.

I've got some lovely pictures of Justin to show you when i upload this on sunday, i'm really quite excited lol.

(8)I'm just sipping on cammomile watching boys and girls and their sex appeal with a stranger in my face who says he knows my mom and went to my high school...(8) I love no doubt. Very much.

Hmmm, do i make another cup of tea or do i have a cigarette or do i do both or shall i just have some toast? Lol, the dilemmas i face each morning, urgh i have things to do lol. I have to take the rubbish out, put dry clothes away hang wet clothes up and wash dirty clothes lol. I'm not having a shower this morning because i'll be having one tonight when i hair removal cream my legs and pray it works lol, i would do it tomorrow before i go but if i come out in a rash/it dosn't work, then i've got a day to sort it out then lol. Problem is if i come out in a rash AND it dosn't work i can't shave or anything because it will make it all much worse, so basically if it all fails i shall be forced to wear black tights lol. I do not want to wear tights.

I have my outfit exactly planned the only problem is the fact that i really want to wear a hat because i prefer my hair when i have a hat on lol and i can't for the life of me think/remember where my black hat is, last time i lost it it was at Ami's but i don't think i'm going to be that lucky this time, i could however see if she has one i can borrow, she used to have one that i liked more than my original one because it had seaquins but then i got one with seaquins and they were both just as nice as eachother lol.

I realy really am in the mood to go shopping, even if it is just to primark. Not that i have the money lol. So i guess having my cooking in the middle of the day is a good thing because i can't very well go before and by the time it is all over and done with it would be far too late to go to town lol.

Right i guess i'm going to go and have a cigarette now and possibly make bottles up if the steriliser has finished, i hope it has because that means after i've made bottles i can make tea, if not i shall have to wait because i can't boil the kettle until i've made bottles, damn it! :( lol

YOU GOT ME FEELING HELLA GOOD SO LETS JUST KEEP ON DANCING

YOU HOLD ME LIKE YOU SHOULD SO I'M GONNA KEEP ON DANCING

This song is my life :) ttfn.

08:45am.
Mike wants getting up at half nine... lol bless him. I'm still listening to no doubt and i've done everything i need to do which is a bit of a shame because now i have nothing left to do. Hmm, :( Boredom, i shall play a game on here i think, infact i think i am going to spend the next 45 mins playing spider solitare lol. :) Wow there's a song that has just popped into my head and i haven't heard it forever and i love it (it's mandy moore) no laughing lol! I love mandy moore, she is one the worlds most beautiful people in my opinion lol but yeah its off the walk to remember sound track lol.

LETS GET THESE TEEN HEARTS BEATING FASTER, FASTER...

(for anyone who dosn't know, that is NOT a mandy moore song haha)

I'm listening to a cd i made at my dads yesterday and i genuinely believe it is amazing, it has...

Okay for some reason i'm drawing a blank today when it comes to bands and song names so you will have to bear with me and guess some of them lol.

Alanis morrisette - Ironic

12 stones - Lie to me

? - When you were young

Artic monkeys - Bet that you look good on the dancefloor

Panic - Lying is the most fun a girl can have without taking her clothes off

Snow patrol - ? (I wanna hear you laugh like you really mean it, collapse into me tired with joy...) that one. lol.

? - The reason
Lost prophets - Rooftops

Switchfoot - Dare you to move

Ok go - Here it goes again

Blue october - Hate me

Yellowcard - Ocean avenue

Bowling for soup - Almost
Bowling for soup - A-hole

Dashboard confessionals - Vindicated

? - Pork & beans

Pendulum - ?

The song from the cadburys advertisment with the eyebrows and such... whats it called? Don't stop the rock i think... lol.
& a random 80's hip hop track my dad put on the end which i rather enjoy. :)

Isn't it a good cd?

I'm having such a trauma of life, my legs are not hairy enough to be hairy, they're hairy enough to be unatractive and annoying but they're not hairy enough to even shave properly they're like, stubblemania and i'm not sure how well the cream is going to work later... :( Worst comes to wost though i do have my silky mits (those hair removing glove things) and they're especially for stubblemania lol. Also, my eyebrows look horrendous, like huge fat furry brown catapillars on my face and they look even worse now that my hair is totally blonde... lol. Its terribly upsetting and i can't pluck them because they stay red and puffed up for about 3 days afterwards (mine actually do! how upsetting is that) and i can't wax them myself because i have no mirror and also because we all know it would fail miserably and at best they would be uneven and obviously, at worst, i'd have no eyebrows. Lol, i could draw them on like sydney, but i have no eyeliner... lmao.

I just went to get Mike up, what with it being half nine and he has decided he wants getting up at half ten lmao, i'll be feeding Justin then though so i'll just get him up when i've put Justin down lmao. He's on his playmat now being merry lol. Bless him he's chewing on his toy keys/rattle/whatever lol he chews absoloutely EVERYTHING! He's insane lol. I may have to take another picture :) lol.

I need to get dressed really, but half of me just cannot be bothered and the half of me that can maybe be bothered knows that if i go to get dressed then i will wake/disturb Mike so i guess i'll leave it until i get him up... lol i'm going to give Ami a bell in a moment because the plan was that she came over in the morning and technically there's only 2 hours and 13 mins left of morning lol and she's probably walking which means she has to leave hers in 1 hour and 53 mins latest which means she should be up around about now, my logic is shit obvcourse because she most likely meant 2pm by morning lol. I'll call her anyway but i don't actually expect an answer lol. Ttfn. x

13:45pm
Ami's only just got in touch, she's ill, i don't know if she's coming over or not. Justin's been screaming since Mike left about 25 mins ago but seems to have settled down abit after about 20 mins of me singing rockabye baby but i don't know how long it will last, he's tired but i can't imagine he will sleep this close to being due food, it's only 45 mins till dinner time lol, nope there he goes again with the screaming, it's not as loud and like "come and pick me up now" screaming now though, it seems like he's putting less effort into it/falling asleep lol well he's stopped again now. I had a lovely night/morning with Mike :) lol. Though we did have a discussion and, this is a little bit x rated so if you don't want to know, skip the next paragraph...

We were talking about having a 3sum and well, i'm not entirely sure about it, i thought i had more to say about it than that but turns out i don't, well i do but i wont discuss it all with you... But yeah i guess thats all i had to say on the matter then...

If you read that and didn't want to, don't say i didn't warn you. Justins started again but not screaming more, slight moaning, oh, now it's screaming, but the last two or three times he's only done it for a few mins and then stopped again. he's just really tired. if he's not asleep by like, ten past two or something then i might just feed him and give him his bottle a little bit early so he can go to sleep lol, that works out better for me anyway come to think of it because i have cooking at half two.

I entertained myself this morning by leaving almost everyone in my phone book cool voicemail messages, Ami got the first half of the song from the cadburys advertisment, Louisa got the chorus to when you were young... It was very fun for me to do because i knew almost noone would be up at such a time (it was about ten)

Justin hasn't actually stopped this time, i might just feed him now, it will make things much easier to be fair, yeah, i may aswell. Ttfn. x

SATURDAY 9TH MAY 2009
08:35am.

Justin has me very confused, so confused infact that i am being forced to eat half a bar of chocolate for breakfast, okay, so that was my choice but i figure i will dance away the calories later... lol. :) Yes well, he had me very confused because he didn't wake up until about 5 mins ago and i had no clue what to do for the rest of the day with his other bottles and such without ending up putting him to bed at like, half eight so i had a genius idea, well... The health visitor said a while ago to try and get him off his half ten bottle right? So if i can get him to go five hours between feeds instead of four then we're sorted...
08:30 - Breakfast.
13:30 - Lunch

18:30 - Tea

It's perfect.

He's just finished his bottle now and is being a merry little chap on his mat. :) lol I gave my dad his camera back yesterday but i think i got enough nice photo's lol. I'm going to nag Lou to take some tonight and lend me the memory card/upload them first thing tomorrow morning. I'm not sure where i'm going to go to upload my blog this weekend, i may pop to my dads because it's closer/easier lol.

For some reason today my cold seems worse than it has been all week and that just isn't fair to be honest lol. :(

I have SO much to do today. I made a right mess doing my legs yesterday there's magazines and magazine wrappers and razors and bladeless razors and random bits and bobs all over the bathroom and the livingroom floor and after all the affort it took (Standing nude and still in a bathtub for ten mins without touching ANYTHING. It didn't work and i spent last night with an agonizing red rash up my legs that seems to have gone now but they're still majorly sore kind of like, you know when you have sunburn and something touches your leg and it hurts so much, like that.

To make matters worse when it started going down on the one leg i decided that was a perfect time to try out my new fake tan, it burnt SO much i had to stop immediately leaving me with one major tangoed leg and one "i've just seen a ghost" leg lol. Its horrendous.

So this morning here is what i have to do, if i can make some kind of a schedule then maybe ill get everything done... I need to do usual things like putting dry clothes away, hanging wet clothes up, putting dirty clothes in the wash, washing bottles, sterilising bottles, making up bottles, doing the washing up, putting clean stuff away, taking the rubbish out & picking all the shit up off the living room and bathroom floor and then i need to do me things such as having a shower and scrubbing the fake tan off my left leg, then tanning both legs and my sholders and such because i'm not sure how low my top comes, make sure my outfit is clean and wearable, possibly go out and buy a hat (a nice black one) & or tights, meet sydney, meet lou, meet my brother, meet mike, meet greg n phil, meet lou's mom... lol.

I can't believe my legs are still all stubbly and horrible after all that effort i'm so upset, but to be honest you can't see it, just feel it and i figure noones going to be running their hands up and down my legs bar Mike, actually probably Louisa aswell knowing us... haha. But either way, they will probably laugh at my stubbleosity so its all good. I actually think more than stubble, atleast in parts it is my skin being bumpy and irritated but no longer red... lol.

I'm going to try and sort out the fake tan i already have on and if that is not a possibility i will wash it off and start again :) i wonder what happens if you put fake tan over a tattoo? lol. x ttfn x

09:10am
I am simply not clever. Well actually i am, i've worked out how to put my new spray fake tan on without it all going tangoed, spray it onto my hand and then rub it into wherever, clearly though, that has left me with tangoed hands and i do not have a companion or a mirror so upsettingly, i now have a perfectly and beautifully tanned front of my right leg and a patchy streakily tanned back of my right leg, it's a shame but i have decided to make like easieir by scrubbing it off in the shower later and then putting on the stuff i usually use, i don't know if i will have enugh but i have come up with the genuis idea of mixing it with moisuroiser, i figure instant wash off fake tan is basically body foundation and you can mix foundation with mouisturoiser so it SHOULD be okay, and if it works ill have all nice moisturoised legs. :) lol. ttfn x

10:48am
Tan, sorted. Outfit, fuck. I had it all sorted but have now come the conclusion that it is TOO slaggy, only, i've worn it before so i KNOW it isn't that bad but i'm pmsing big time and i don't have a mirror to reassure me or anything lol.

I'm skipping my week break with the nuva ring and have put another straight in so that i'm not on when i go out tonight (i checked with the leaflet and it is perfectly safe to do once or twice... lol.) but i don't think i've pms'd so bad in my life! lol.

The proof is in the fact that there is no longer any chocolate in the house, including biccies. lol. but i do have tea which makes life a little better and in a moment i am going to go for a cigarette, i've done everything in life that i need to do this morning exept make bottles up and i've just made tea so i'm waiting for the kettle to cool down lol. I hope Justin adapts to his new routine quickly and easily lol is that too much to hope for?

He's actually really good with the adapting thing, i mean to be fair he's slept in like 5 different places as a babbababa and been fine. There was obviously the house in walsall, my dads, james' moms, louisa's & mine. Thats all that i know of anyway and like, i don't even know what he's like now but i know that when he used to go with James 3 days a week, well lets just say James does not know the meaning of routine and also of parenthood = sacrifice. I don't mean that as bad as it sounds but i mean like, getting up at 6-7am instead of 9-10 or something lol... I'm sure you remember me chatting on about how he would keep him up later at night so he woke up later in the morning...

Awhhh, talk of the devil my little baba's awake i'm off to change a nappy and have a cigarette and then have a play with the baba and make up some bottles and hopefully if he will allow, feed him at half one... lol. ttfn x

11:37am.
You know i've never been brave enough to listen to Rob Thomas's solo album through fear that it would be bad and totally put me off both him and matchbox twenty... But my dad lent it to me the other day and i've just worked up the courage to put it on lol. Luckily the first two tracks are this is how a heart breaks and lonely no more so i've already heard them... i don't know the rest of them... lol. I'm scared... haha lonely no more is almost finished now... i'm scared haha.

(8)what if i could hold you till i feel you move inside of me what if it was paradise and what if we were symphonys what if i gave all my life to find some way to stand beside you, i don't wanna be lonely no more i dont wanna have to pay for this i dont wanna know the lover at my door is just another heartache on my list i dont wanna be angry no more you know i could never stand for this so when you tell me that you love me know for sure i dont wanna be lonely anymore....(8)

Here we go, a song i've never heard before... it sounds okay so far but we are only 10 seconds in...

I like it, damn, i was so dumb not wanting to listen to it. Even if it was shit, his voice, awh it makes me melt. I love him, i love it. :D This song is beautiful. I'm very happy now. :)

12:14pm.
This album is pretty amazing, i like the majority of it alot, but i don't like track 4, i'm on track 11 now. That isn't what i came on to tell you though. I came on to say (and i can't believe i haven't said already but to be honest i only noticed yesterday) Justin has a tooth, well, kinda, its come through his gum :) ITS ADORABLE... hehe its the little bottom one, i'm going to TRY and get a picture but i'm not promising anything because it took me about an hour for him to let me stick my finger in and check i wasn't imagining it. I think i scared him a little lol because i got all excited and started bouncing him around screaming about how cute he is. :D lol. He laughed along though lol. He's playing with my necklace on his playmat now lol.

Awhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh ttfn. x

14:10pm
Justin seems merry with his new routine, that's always good. I love this album. :)

(8)but its alright why don't you tell me again how you'll still be here when the heartache ends... :) lol.

I'm just so happy.

On a less merry note, Louisa is not answering her phone and i'm pretty sure the plan was for her to come to mine around 2-3 or something like that anyway... If she's still asleep now (at 2ish) then she wont be getting to mine till about 4-5 and thats if she wakes up now, damn her. Mike is coming to mine at some point though when i am not sure. Greg and Phil are getting to mine about 8 and i'm not sure when or where we are meeting Nathan. Kirstys coming to mine in about an hour to pick up her charger, Sydney and Matt are coming over around 4-5 to babysit and i think David said he'd pop over some time this evening before i go out. What a people filled shamful day. lol. :)

I think i may have to go for a nap you know, i'm shattered i really am. Justins in bed so it's all good, i may go to sleep until about half three or something, yes, goodbye. :) ttfn x

SUNDAY 10TH MAY 2009
16:00PM.
Happy birthday to my darling Louisaa. I am so hungover i have only just got out of bed other than to vomit a thousand times, Sydneys been watching the baba all day but she's gone now. lol. The tip of my right index finger is numb and tingly and all i've been able to eat all day is cucumber. So i am sat here munching cucumber. Justin is in bed shleeping at the moment but he keeps waking up and crying i imagine due to the pain in his toothy because it seems like that kind of crying and in a little while we are going to go down to my daddys and post this all up on the tinternet.

Last night got off to a horrendously bad start but ended up being a really good night. Nathan left his wallet on the train, Mike left his wallet at mine, For some reason we ended up walking to broad street causing me and Lou major foot pain, i went in a mood with Mike for some random stupid reason then we got to flares and Greg and Mike couldn't get in because they didn't have id so we decided to go to reflex only to find i'd left my passport on the floor outside flares but Mike and Phil went to get it so it was alright and then Greg and Mike couldn't get into reflex so they decided to go back and get id and then come back and then Greg didn't end up coming back because he didn't have propor id but Mike did and from then on it really was an amazing night.

Louisa brought me and Nathan a rose :) and her and Nathan are being more official and stuff now :) It's great. Lou was sick and then we all left, Mike asked me to marry him, lolz.

There are many a photograph but they are horrendous, i will still put one or two up though, on the subjet of pictures i aso have on of the state of Mikes back after last night, i wont go into detail because i'm sure you can imagine lol but i can't find my phone to put it up lol... anyway i'm going to go and see to my screaming son, most likely get him up and give him a biccie then i'm going to put rob thomas' album on, have a cigarette, drink some water, get dressed and go to my daddys. If i feel like i'm not too dead i might even tidy up the living room but at the moment it feels like far too big a task. Justins stopped moaning now so i might not get him up just yet lol. I should probably have a shower but i'm too ill lol. I feel like death.

Mike's also noticed now that when i feel ill i get uber uber clingy, i don't know why, i just do lol. I was on the phone to him and i wouldn't let him go lol and somehow managed to convince him to come to mine after band practice tonight even though he has to be at work for 6:15am lol!

Justins up again now so i'm off to get him up and give him a cuddle and a biccie and such. OWCH my ear just popped for no reason what so ever, i hate it. I'm going to get an ear ache, i know it, i always do when i drink while i've got a cold! lol ttfn ly all. x