Life is what happens to you while you're busy making other plans. - John Lennon.
Okay here we go, long time no blog. I have for you a long long entry which is basically my diary entries from the past however long, i may if my grandad has some kind of memory card reader/adapter also be able to provide you with photographs, but i doubt it, i shall ask. Ahh, no he does not so you shall have to wait for another time, my dad has one, i shall ask for useage of it.
Okay we will start with
Friday 6th march 2009.
Since my laptop has had an anurism tonight so i simply cannot blog i thought i would make note of the fact thatr i am lying in bed with a plate of bunless hotdogs, a cup of tea and a book so bizzare i could have written it myself if only i had the patience and the talent, also i am in love <-- Cringe.
Not only am i a failure in the sense that my dinner consitsts of a cup of tea and a plate of bunless hotdogs i am a failure in the sense that my hotdogs exploded. It hurts my hand to write, i think i'm gripping the pen too tight, that wasn't supposed to rhyme i haven't wrote in so long i don't write often, it's a shame, life.
Sunday 15th march 2009
It may seem like things are desperate becayse ui am writing in a pencil crayon but they are not. I don't think. This week has been one of many realizations but i am happy. Justin however is not so i cannot continue writing, my pencil is bendy, it isn't supposed to be.
Tuesday 17th march 2009
(8)Well i wonder what it's like to be a rainmaker...
My pen is sticky, this is not good, Mikes gone home today because he has a job interview, dunno when i'm seeing him next but Ami is coming over today and i think i'm seeing Zoie tomorrow. Health visitor and key working sessions on thursday & the doctors on friday so i can imagine i wont actually be seeing him untill the weekend. I need to speak to James and see if he has brought a new car seat yet. Justin has figured out if he shuffles around on his playmat he can play with the bird and the butterflies at the same time and he is very excited lol. I need to tidy up but i refuse as today is a jess day and nothing else! Awh bless, i just walked passed Justin holding his bottle and his eyes lit up, awh he's growing up so quick, okay so i know 6 months isn't grown up but its more grown up than newborn and it's going fast, anyway i'm off to make bottles...
I'd like to think i look as glamourous as i feel smoking, drinking tea and writing in a beautiful book in teeny tiny shorts and a t shirt but in actual fact i have hairy legs greasy hair sweaty palms and a spotty bespecticaled face, it's a shame really. I decided so i don' feel like such a tramp i will atleast change my bin, i dropped it and now my kitchen is covered in fag ash and tea bags, it stinks and i am crying my life is so lolable and shambolic at the same time it is shamlolableic. It's quater past four and i've eaten a cheesecake.
Wednesday 18th march 2009
I've fed Justin and sterilised bottles and i should really put a wash load in and do the washing up and also shower but i can't be bothered, i cabn't even be bothered to drink my tea, i'm going back to bed until 9 atleast. (it's 7am btw)
Thursday 19th march 2009
Yesterday me and Mike had one of those big chats about life, mine. It was hard and awkward, i cried. It got really like, personal, it was about me going to college and such, noones ever really spoken to me like that before. It really meant alot. I have no cigarettes and i need to have a shower and get dressed and sort through Justins clothes for Eillen who still isn't in labour!
Thursday 26th march 2009.
I haven't wrote for a while but i did not kill myself i've been busy been spending alot of time with Sydney actually. Anyway today i have proporly decided to sort my life out i want to go back on atkins but i love my carbs too much damnit.
I don't know the date but it's a sunday in march.
I love matchbox twenty. I'm bored, Mikes just left and now i'm waiting for Sydney to pop round. I went to see my baby brother in hospital yesterday. He was born on the 27th weighing 8 pounds ten i think, so quite big, bigger than Justin was. Awh he is gorgeous and makes me broody, i'm going to pop over again tomorrow, it's my dads birthday today, damn. I want the internet back damnit, the other day i drew a beautiful tattoo design on my foot, but i washed it off. Now i'm going for a fag and tea, oh by the way, it's the 29th.
30th March 09 (it's monday)
The back of this book is now filled with doodles and drawings of all the tattoo's i'm having, except the butterfly one and the latest addition which is three stars on my back. In total i will have 29 stars, 26 words and 8 flowers and for all opf thenm it is going to cost me around £500! How shocking the cheapest probably being my rainbow but i can only get the ones on my wrists and back at the moment until i've toned up. I have no fags and i am off to feed my baby boy. :)
Tuesday 31st march 09.
Damn poverty. My hair is marylin monroe white and my little pony pink and lilac and the new nuvaring is not too plesant.
Wednesday 1st april.
Today is april fools day which is of little importance because it is only till 12pm and the only person able to communicate with more than babbles and cries that i am around is Mike who probably wont be out of bed until after then. I am reading perks for the millionth time and it talks alot about mix tapes Noone has ever made me a mix tape and that makes me abit sad someone burnt me a cd once but it was just twelve songs that were popular at the time, nothing intimate or infinate, just jenny from the block, shame. It would be nice to have a mix tape. Ami sent the most hilarious text i have ever received mere moments ago and i feel i have to share it so here goes...
"hit me at 40 and theres an 80% chance i'll die.
Hit me at 30 and theres an 80% chance i'll live.
Hit me at 88 and theres a 100% chance i'll go back to the future.
apparently nobody in central birmingham speeds."
In other news i fear i have genuinely broken my foot i am very converned as to how i am going to look after Justin today considering i have no plans to see anyone i am all alone and noone is answering their phones. (Mike has work) I'm attempting to make breakfast and it is 2pm, makes sense right? and also as i said, with a broken foot, damnit. lol life. I'm very excited about going to college and have also made the decicion that i am going to do something amaziong and make some kind of a difference in atleast one persons life, i don't want to be a girl, i want to be THAT girl, atleast to someone.
That is all because io do not write much, i miss being able to blog,l i shall fuill you in on baby news.
Justin is adorable as always and almost seven months old now, he has three meals a day but four bottles and he has poorly poorly nappy rash, he's allergic to talcum powder and also pampers baby wipes he is still teething and he is still as beautiful as usual, him and Chloe secretly love eachother but are both playing hard to get. Justin can roll front to back and back to front now when he can be bothered but is extreemly lazy, he said egg the other day and also what sounded like Mike, he can sit up unaided but again is too lazy to do it often or for long and he is just as cute as ever. I'm missing him a million right now.
As for me things are good, i have great friends i have a great boyfriend i have an amazing son and i guess my life is going the right way i just have trouble remembering that some times, my heads a bit messy recently but i'll be fine, oh and i've dyed my hair blonde and pink, if you didn't get that from one of the diary entries,. i'll put pictures up as soon as i possibly can. ly all.